Grace Carried Me
My Journey Through Loss, Leadership, and Unshakable Faith By Dr Alcy Tivane
There are moments in life that do not simply hurt —
they transform you. Moments that separate your life into before and after. Moments that redefine who you are. For me, that moment was the passing of my husband. But to truly understand my story, I want to share the beautiful journey we had taken together.
My husband and I were partners in everything — in ministry, in business, in parenting, and in purpose. Together we founded Flames Christian Family Church, which today has established branches across South Africa and Mozambique. What began as a shared vision between my late husband, Pastor Martin Tivane, and I grew into a ministry that now serves communities across multiple cities, impacting lives beyond what we could have imagined. We were not only building a church — we were building people.
My husband and I were blessed with four beautiful children: Nyeleti, Ku-Hlayiseka, Ku-Saseka, and Tamela. Each of them carries a distinct personality, a unique calling, and a special place in my heart. Raising them alongside my husband was one of our greatest joys. He was present. He was intentional. He was loving. He was not only my life partner; he was my best friend, my covering, and a major force behind my music journey.
Music has always been another dimension of my calling. Over the years, God allowed me to release multiple gospel albums including Times of Praise and Worship, Intando Emnandi, King of Kings, God Is Here, and Restored. Through worship, I have had the privilege of ministering in various cities and gatherings,
sharing stages and platforms where lives were touched by the presence of God. My music ministry has been recognized through awards such as the Crown Gospel Awards and the Mpumalanga Gospel Music Awards — yet for me, the greatest reward has always been seeing hearts healed and restored.
My husband and I walked a beautiful journey together, then suddenly he was gone and the life we built together became the assignment I had to carry alone. Nothing prepares you for the silence that follows loss. After his passing, everything we once carried together became mine to steward: There were nights when the weight felt unbearable. Mornings when rising required more courage than I thought I had. Days when I felt weak, lost and without hope. I had to navigate loneliness that words cannot fully describe. Emotional strain that quietly drained me. The immense pressure of becoming both mother and father — nurturer and provider.
And while I was learning how to breathe again, life did not pause. Leadership does not wait for you to heal. I was grieving… but I was also leading. While pastoring branches in South Africa and Mozambique, overseeing ministry operations, mentoring leaders, and ensuring stability for our congregations, I was privately learning how to survive heartbreak. At the same time, I continued growing academically — completing my Bachelor’s Degree in Ministry through Christian Family Church International Ministries, then pursuing my Master’s in Theology, and ultimately earning my Doctorate in Theology through Impact Theological Bible College in 2022. Education became part of my healing. Growth became part of my obedience.>
Warrior Woman Magazine
Issue 1 :: April 2026
Grief could have distanced me from God. Pressure could have broken me. Rejection could have silenced my calling. But instead of pushing me away from Him, every painful season drove me closer. My pain did not destroy my faith — it deepened it. Today, when people look at my life, they may see resilience. They may see a Senior Pastor. A Doctor of Theology. A gospel artist. An author. A leader of branches across nations. What they may not see is the grace that carried me when I could not carry myself.
I am not standing because the journey was easy. I am standing because God was faithful. There were
moments I felt I wouldn’t survive — yet here I am, sustained by grace. I no longer see myself simply as someone who endured loss. I see a woman strengthened by faith. A mother refined by love. A leader shaped by adversity. A servant committed to seeing people set free and living the life God predestined for them.
And if my journey has taught me anything, it is this: Sometimes the greatest proof of faith is continuing to show up… even after life has broken your heart. You may be knocked down by life, but when God holds you, you will never be defeated. WWM
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